Monday, July 1, 2013

Little Ones to Him Belong

The last ditty of the night, marking my heart's true temperature.

Some nights call for a light night, late nights of cleansing calming the brain and soothing the heart. I had a lot on my heart last night, so I did what I usually do: paint it out. I started a new project, hashing patterns freely. I organized some old artwork. I worked on my new greeting card set. But I was still a mess. 

Until I heard this song from Page CXVI: "Jesus Loves Me," a compilation of related hymns, re-orchestrated beautifully as a lullaby as only Page CXVI could.

We are in the adoption process and as anyone who's been in this boat would say: it's hard, but it's worth it. I can't wait to get to the "it's worth it" part. We think we found a "match;" not that it was hard to fall in love with the first profile the agency sent us, but wow how the perspective changes. That little child is waiting for me. And he (who we thought would be a "she") has been at an orphanage all of his life. And he is not the only one. Far from it.

How can this be?! Who would do such a thing as abandon a child at a bus stop?! How can he know that this story will end well with a loving family to belong to? And what of the others....

And as I heard the familiar lyrics, "Jesus loves me this I know..." ones that my biological son recently learned at church, "for the Bible tells me so..." I broke down at these words, "little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong." Or as my son sings "we are weak...."

"Processing"-type work rarely makes for masterpieces. It's just a matter of getting it out and getting it down.

Crying at the proclamation, I had to paint it to shout it out: Yes! Jesus loves him! Even though he doesn't know it. Yes! Jesus loves them! Even though it's hard to see it. Yes! Jesus loves them! Absolutely He does. And I can rest assured in that.

One day my love will reach him.

Finally, I painted my love, and how it felt blocked by opposition and paperwork. And then I painted his face. I was so frustrated, feeling the boulders of time and red tape in our way, but He strengthened me: God is more powerful than all of the distance and obstacles. I went to be encouraged, though still praying for those children with their one simple, great need: love. It is our job to be His love; and it is our peace to know His love is sufficient.