Wednesday, November 13, 2013

I Can Trust My Shepherd

Confession: I am hyperaware and hardly ever feel safe. I have sent my husband to investigate a noise in the middle of the night... and then sent him to check every room before we go back to sleep. I feel better sleeping when our obnoxiously-bright front light is on. I wish we had a security system. I'm glad I don't have long hair as I've read that rapists target women who do. I lock the door, even when it's daylight and even when I'll only be alone for a few minutes. Taking a self-defense class is on my 2014 bucket list rollover. 

I wouldn't consider myself a person dominated by fear. I just expect that the worst can happen to me. And I believe that the world is evil.

When taking some extensive personality tests, I found this question over and over: Do you think everyone is out for their own good and would harm others to get ahead? Yes. I do.

Is that wrong? Probably not, in measure. And neither are all of the confessions I began with. Self-defense classes are great, as are many other defenses we can put around us. The problem comes when I trust in that lightbulb more than in my Watchman.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain. Psalm 127:1b
How much power we give our "hedges"... and seriously, a hedge is not a great line of defense! How much credit we give our bankroll.
In vain you rise up early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat... Psalm 127:2a
Anybody? [Enter emoticon with funny-looking lady, dressed in a pink shirt with her hand in the air.]
For he grants sleep to those he loves. Psalm 127:2b
I realized the other night that I've been sleeping well, not hyper-vigilant. By golly, my prayers worked! Yes, I can trust in my Shepherd, come what may.

Psalm 23

A Psalm of David.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.