Monday, December 16, 2013

Christmas Package to China

We doubt that there will be much celebrating on Christmas Day at the orphanage. Our son-to-be will likely have a quiet, routine day as Christmas is celebrated there only slightly more than Chinese New Year is honored here. 

But we couldn't not get our second son a Christmas gift. 

So we did. I felt a surge of joy, followed by a surge of pain as I thought more deeply about what he's probably learning right now, how big he is and gauging what he might like. 

I got my gifts, wrapped them, and included pictures and notes from us. 

But I couldn't send it. I thought about the other children in the orphanage. I wondered how they'd feel. And the package sat in our living room for a few days. 

I decided that we could at least buy them some socks and warm hats, knowing that the quality and prices here of those things are far better. But it didn't settle my problem: those other kids won't get the thrill of a new toy.

So my son helped. I asked him if he wanted to share any toys with his baby brother. He happily offered his favorite one. When I clarified with him that he might not ever see it again, he reconsidered and gave him another one. 

I asked him if he wanted to send any toys from his bins to kids in China for Christmas. He said no. 

I asked him specifically about one he hadn't played with in a while. He said no. 

Enter: feeling of defeat. Do I push him to be generous? I asked myself. I looked at my mom. She shrugged.

"They can have this one," my son said, giving me a toy tow truck. 

"Okay! Anything else? How about this one?" I asked joyfully. 

After many no's and okay and yeah's, we filled the rest of the box with toys. 

Some of these I was sad to part with myself, but figured that if we could both grow in generosity.  

I am very proud of my gifter, and proud of our box. The shipping was more expensive than the contents but it was worthwhile. (And as a bonus, mommy got a little {not}Spring Cleaning done!)

In all honesty, my heart hurts in sending the package. I'd rather be on a plane to get him before the box ever arrives. I'd rather have him home for Christmas or even celebrate it there without a tree or gifts. 

It seems we're still a long way off. I check our mailbox every day hoping to find an approval from US Immigration, but I'm still waiting. In the meantime, I've busied myself with applying for a couple of grants. We've exhausted our savings and are needing external help to finalize the adoption. 

Please pray for us this week that we'd be approved for these two grants, money that has already been stamped with the priority of giving it to families wanting to bring a once-orphan home. Pray for favor on our family. Pray that God provides for this huge "chunk of change - like" boulder to be moved.

Thank you in advance!