|A best-seller, and a verse near to my heart. Available in the shop.|
I see now why the adoption process is compared to a roller coaster. Last week was.
Update #1: Timeline
We're looking at picking up our boy in the summer. This is a good four to six months later than I thought, but it was simply a misunderstanding. No hiccups in the process, no veers of the tracks, just misinformation.
I let go of having him for Christmas.
I let go of having him for his birthday in February.
I'm now letting go of having him before the snow melts.
I'm honestly broken hearted about it. But again, nothing materially changed; just my perception… my little world.
I'm also letting go of thinking we'd have a just-turned-two-year old. (This is after hoping to welcome an 18 month old.) He'll be nearing two and a half as his older brother celebrates his fourth birthday. (Wow.)
Update #2: Timeline
Yes, I meant to repeat myself. But there is a difference. It's not a smooth line with ticks in it, it is ticking clock.
Two days after hearing our more-accurate timeline, I ran across our pre-approval letter from China. It's basically their saying they'd "hold" our match with Silas until said date. That date is January 18, 2014. I freaked. I was calmed down by our agency who informed me that we have a 90-day extension from that date. We have 90 days to absolutely assure that our paperwork is Logged-In on the Chinese database.
I am certainly willing and ready to do everything in my power to make that date, please pray that others involved will be, too. Our paperwork needs three rounds of approval/signatures/certifications before it's sent overseas. Pray against any lost mail, overlooking, laziness, malice or anything that would lead to tardiness. Please join us in praying for this one little one.
Update #3: Grants
We have two organizations reviewing our applications (and other some such paperwork) for financial help. There is not much room in our bank accounts for this adoption--in fact, we've joyfully allowed it to clean out our savings--so you can see how outside help would be wonderful and necessary!
We're thankful for family and friends who have been moved to give even since I last posted a thank you! Every penny that is given towards this adoption is money we don't have to take out of our grocery budget. Seriously.
Please pray for these two org's to see us favorably and be compelled to help, compelled by our Big God!
Update #4: Good News
We received our Immigration Approval just before Christmas! It was the best Christmas present (aside actually having the little guy). I had been complaining to a friend that very day about not having received it yet. She had learned she was pregnant with a girl that day, and for us it was of course a boy!
With the alarmingly cold temperatures and feeling a bit thrown back by our reality check… our awareness that this ain't going to happen soon… we have made plans for a quick vacation in the sun thanks to my in-laws! I hope that wearing summer dresses and smelling salt air will help propel me in some small way.
Mostly I realize that the Lord is who revives hearts. Through all this, God has reassured me that He's had no surprises this week. At the end of each difficult day, I could look back at how something prompted to prepare me for what would come later that day. Amazing.
The day we heard of our timeline I had listened to Mars Hill's sermon on the tenth commandment against coveting and heard Mark Driscoll say this:
I’ll say this as well: when God doesn’t give you something, it’s not to punish you but to protect you. “God, I want that!” He says, “I know, that’s why I can’t give it to you. You’re not ready for it. It’s not that I’m unwilling, it’s that you’re not ready.”
My sixteen-year-old daughter is driving. So, then we start looking for cars for her….And my seven-year-old son says, “Can I get a car?” The answer is, “Not right now, and it’s not because I don’t love you. It’s actually because I do. You’re not ready. Maybe one day, when you are ready, we’ll talk about getting that for you."
We don’t think of ourselves as children, but God does. We think of ourselves as grown adults. I mean, I’ve got a great beard. I’m a grown man. God says, “Actually, I’m eternal. You’re just a pup. You know, and you think you’re ready for certain things, and I know you’re not, and because I say no, it’s not to punish you but to protect you.”
The day I got the jolt of fear that someone I've never met may "take away" our match with Silas I had read,
"I, I am he who comforts you; who are you that you are afraid of man who dies, of the son of man who is made like grass," Isaiah 51:12
I have nothing or no one to fear. God's not holding back on me. Nothing is delayed. Everything is right on time.
And when I doubt that, I've got a Father who will lovingly reassure me at just the right times. And when I'm too deaf to hear his warnings, I've got a great God who will catch me. And you know what the best part is? He has a special place in His heart for the fatherless.
I could not imagine a better One to entrust my life, faith, and love to.
Be assured, as I am.