Wednesday, February 4, 2015

His First Birthday With Us {Adoption Update}

What a difference a year makes. This is our first year celebrating Silas's birthday! I wrote a post this time last year, commemorating that bittersweet day--celebrating our adopted son's life from afar. I often think back on our adoption process for our little Chinese son. I think about the heartache, the longing, the feeling of loss over something (someone) we hadn't quite even gained yet. It's all become a faint memory so quickly and I want to remember it. 

We're approaching five months with him in our family, and it feels like he's been around longer. Don't get me wrong, I am oh-so-keenly aware of the gaps left in his adaptation--our adaptation--but what seemed like a great chasm is now breeching... slowly, quickly... both

Any parent of little ones will understand the saying, "the days crawl by, but the years they fly." I find myself asking, "where did the time go?" almost as often as I hear my wondering, "is it nap time yet?" At 11am. Yet as I wrote in our update that's now on's blog, we feel pretty cohesive as a family. It's obvious that he was placed in our family by a lot more than just paperwork, God was in it. Without a doubt. 

While I spend much of my crawling days at home with the boys wondering, "what on earth made you think that that was a good idea?!" and exclaiming, "no! We do not ---fill in the blank, ex. spit on the carpet, pinch faces, pour full cups of water on the floor, take our snow boots off in ten inches of snow, call others stupid,... {Wait. What was I saying? Oh, yeah,} Though I spend much of the day yelling... apparently... it seems pretty, well... normal. I'll admit, the element of "other-ness" is still there. I really struggle to understand where he's coming from (hence the "what would make you think that was a good idea?" question). I want to relate so badly. But--and that's a big BUT--that "other-ness" is not Silas's defining characteristic in my mind. He is who he is: our impulsive, rambunctious son who will play the class clown, the flirt, the copycat, the wounded heart or the defiant warrior to get our full attention. He is our youngest, he is little brother, he is "silly Silas."

I think this video from last night--our birthday warm-up--gives you a feel for what I mean.

I love you, silly one, and I hope you have the best birthday yet today! You'll (thankfully) hardly notice me bored to tears, holding our booth at Chuck E. Cheese's while you're busy blowing a few hours of daddy's work money to "win" a couple of plastic frogs that won't scoot on our table past today. But hey, this is your day. And as long as those plastic frogs don't crack within those three last waking hours after dinner, we're golden.