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Yes. I just came out and said it. Don't act like you haven't been there.
But guess what?
God is good.
God has gotten us this far.
And despite of --while simultaneously-- through my hard-working efforts we stand where we stand. I have swung between frantically trying to sweat my way out of tight times and surrendering to rest and trust. I'm learning hard-knock lessons, both practical management-type ones as well as serious, spiritual ones. Taking a look at our bank ledger is absolutely bewildering. That wild day of sales covered that wild bill. That weekend I pumped out wedding invitations pumped provision hospital visits. Fulfilling a painting commission fulfilled our need for the week.
I loathe this roller coaster. But as much as I try to jump off it, I find myself swinging my hands up in the air in relinquished terror.
As I feel the ebb of a these waves calming... gradually, as if to assure these lessons are well embedded... I'm in awe. It's an awe of wonder with a tinge of fear. But this fear is different. It does not carry worry with it, it carries reverence. God is absolutely in control. Make no mistake about it. No one can do what He does, and we are at His mercy. Let's be fiercely grateful that He is astonishingly merciful. We are in mighty, good hands.
This painting was not my idea, but was rather a commission. How timely is that?!
The tent of the upright will flourish. Proverbs 14:11
So keep painting,